Kami Nahi?

School me Master ji ne
santa se poochha:
"Mujh me koi bhi kami
nahi hai, to mujhe aap log
kya kehke bulaaoge ??"
santa: kami-na

--
*Abhishek K. Pandey*

Ultimate Tech Queries-Some Laughter To Share

Try not to laugh, for many
the new technology is
difficult !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tech Support: What kind
of computer do you have?
Customer :A white one.
...............................
Customer :Hi, this is Celine.
I can't get my DVD out!!!
Tech Support: Have you
tried pushing the button?
Customer :Yes, I'm sure
it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That
doesn't sound good; I'll
make a note.
Customer :No, wait a
minute, I hadn't inserted it
yet. It's still on my
desk . . . sorry. Thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: Click on the
'MY COMPUTER' icon on
the left of the screen.
Customer :Your left or my
left?
...............................
Tech Support: Hello. How
may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi .. . . I
can't print.
Tech Support: Would you
click on 'START' for me
and . .
Customer: Listen pal; don't
start getting technical on
me. I'm not Bill
Gates!!!
...............................
Customer :Good
afternoon, this is Martha. I
can't print. Every time I
try,
it says . . . 'CAN'T FIND
PRINTER'. I even lifted
the printer and placed it
in front of the monitor, but
the computer still says it
can't find it!!!
...............................
Customer :I have
problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you
have a color printer?
Customer :Aaaah . . . . . .. . . . .
thank you.
...............................
Tech Support: What's on
your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer :A teddy bear
that my boyfriend bought
for me at the 7-11 store.
...............................
Customer :My keyboard is
not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you
sure your keyboard is
plugged into the
computer?
Customer :No. I can't get
behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your
keyboard and take ten
steps backwards.
Customer :Okay..
Tech Support: Did the
keyboard come with you?
Customer :Yes.
Tech Support: That means
the keyboard is not
plugged in. Is there
another
keyboard?
Customer :Yes, there's
another one here. Wait a
moment please. . .. . . . .
Ah, that one does work.
Thanks.
...............................
Tech Support: Your
password is the small
letter 'a' as in apple, a
capital
letter 'V' as in Victor, and
the number '7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in
capital letters?
...............................
Customer: I can't get on
the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you
absolutely sure you used
the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I
saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell
me what the password
was?
Customer: Five dots.
...............................
Tech Support: What anti-
virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape
Tech Support: That's not
an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . .
Internet Explorer.
...............................
Customer: I have a huge
problem! My friend has
placed a screen saver on
my
computer . . . but, every
time I move my mouse, it
disappears.
...............................
Tech Support: How may I
help you?
Customer: I'm writing my
first email.
Tech Support: OK, and
what seems to be the
problem?
Customer: Well, I have the
letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the
little circle around it.
...............................
A woman customer called
the Canon help desk
because she had a
problem with
her printer.
Tech Support: Are you
running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is
next to the door, but that
is a good point. The
man sitting next to me is
by a window, and his
printer is working fine!
...............................
.And last, but not least . . .
Tech Support: Okay
George, press the control
and escape keys at the
same
time. That brings up a task
list in the middle of the
screen. Now, type
the letter 'P' to bring up
the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a
'P'.
Tech Support: On your
keyboard, George.
Customer: What do you
mean?
Tech Support: 'P' . . . on
your keyboard, George.
Customer: I AM NOT
GOING TO DO THAT!!!

--
*Abhishek K. Pandey*

Can I Borrow $5?

A woman came home
from work late, tired and
irritated, to find her 7-year
old son waiting for her at
the door.
SON: 'Mummy, may I ask
you a question?'
MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it
is?' replied the woman.
SON: 'Mummy, how much
do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'That's none of your
business. Why do you ask
such a thing?' the woman
said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know.
Please tell me, how much
do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'If you must know, I
make $20 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy
replied, with his head
down.
SON: "Mummy, may I
please borrow $5?"
The mother was furious, 'If
the only reason you asked
that is so you can
borrow some money to
buy a silly toy or some
other nonsense, then you
march
yourself straight to your
room and go to bed.
Think about why you are
being
so selfish. I don't work
hard everyday for such
childish frivolities.'
The little boy quietly went
to his room and shut the
door..
The woman sat down and
started to get even
angrier about the little
boy's
questions.. How dare he
ask such questions only to
get some money?
After about an hour or so,
the woman had calmed
down, and started to
think:
Maybe there was
something he really
needed to buy with that $
5 and he
really didn't ask for
money very often. The
woman went to the door
of the
little boy's room and
opened the door.
'Are you asleep, son?' She
asked.
'No Mummy, I'm awake,'
replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe
I was too hard on you
earlier' said the woman.
'It's been a long day and
I took out my aggravation
on you. Here's the $5
you asked for.'
The little boy sat straight
up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you
Mummy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his
pillow he pulled out some
crumpled up bills.
The woman saw that the
boy already had money,
started to get angry
again.
The little boy slowly
counted out his money,
and then looked up at his
mother.
'Why do you want more
money if you already have
some?' the mother
grumbled.
'Because I didn't have
enough, but now I do,'
the little boy replied.
'Mummy, I have $20 now.
Can I buy an hour of your
time? Please come home
early tomorrow. I would
like to have dinner with
you.'
The mother was crushed.
She put her arms around
her little son, and she
begged for his
forgiveness.
It's just a short reminder
to all of you working so
hard in life.. We
should not let time slip
through our fingers
without having spent some
time
with those who really
matter to us, those close
to our hearts. Do
remember
to share that $20 worth of
your time with someone
you love.
If we die tomorrow, the
company that we are
working for could easily
replace us in a matter of
hours. But the family &
friends we leave behind
will feel the loss for the
rest of their lives.

--
*Abhishek K. Pandey*

4 Stages of Marriage

4 Stages of marraige :
MAD for each other.
MADE for each other.
MAD at each other.
MAD bcoz of each other.

--
*Abhishek K. Pandey*

Thoghts

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should
dance....

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Prayer is not a spare wheel that you pull out when YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
It is a steering wheel that keeps you on the right path throughout your life
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You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop
laughing.

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Apologizing does not always mean you are wrong. It just means that you value your relationships more than your ego.

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Never take someones feelings as a joke, you never know how bad it feels.

Look back and Thank God. Look forward and Trust God. Look around and Serve God. Look within and Find God.

Aaj Sone Do.....

Janna kahan hai mujhe , pata nahi... aaj sone do..

doondhenege rasta phir kabhi...

roj suraj ugta hai....
roj rat hoti hai...

Sher~O~Shayari

1. LAMHE ME JINE KO HI KAHATE HAI JEENA.....KISKA KIYA BAHORSA KAUN KAHA
   KAR DE AKELA.

Ek Muddat Ke Baad

Ek Muddat Ke Baad Uski Aawaz Suni
Toh Dil Ne Mujhse Ye Sawal Poochha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Abey Jaldi Yaad Kar 'Kaunsi Waali' Hai..!!

The last SANE generation!

The last SANE generation! -

We are the last generation that learnt to play in the street.

We are the first who've played video games, seen cartoons in color and went to amusement parks.

A Company's Letter to its Employees-Economy Laughhh

Dear Staff,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the worldwide slowdown of economies, since the being of 2008, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 30 plus years of age on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retiring Appropriate People Early).